I Strive To Be Utterly Shameless

Embracing Your Sexuality as A Man

The first thing you need to do to make the change toward becoming more successful with women is to get rid of ANY guilt you may have about your sexual desires.

This was a major psychological sticking point for me.  I was good with women once interacting with them, but not so good at meeting new people and really bringing in the kind of reality I wanted until I got over this.  There was still that part of me that was slightly ashamed and uneasy with my inner passions and sexual intent.

I felt like  “a player in disguise”.  Disingenuous.  Like my identity was portraying me as an “emotional romantic” who was so far away from being “like all those other douche baggy guys”…when in actuality I was just coming in from a different angle.  Its no secret that a man has a burning sexual intent ignited by a beautiful woman.  Why was I fooling myself?   I was every bit as ravenous as the rest of the wolves…

There is no shame in being human.  Being a passionate sexual person.

I felt incongruous and uneasy.  Why?  Why should I feel ashamed because I love women?  Why should I feel guilty about my distinct inborn attraction to the finer things in life?

I certainly don’t anymore.  No one deserves to live in such shackles.  This is one of the biggest hindrances that must be destroyed in order to become great. Once you become totally comfortable with your sexual animalistic nature, your results with women will skyrocket.

I used to have this oppressive and completely insane notion that expressing sexual intent with women right off the bat was sleazy.  As if I were someone who was “above” having to go out and hit on chicks.  This attitude kept me from making the first move, and almost always kept me locked in the friend zone. There was a time when i was sneaky about my passions.  My desires.
Like so many guys, I was under the impression that going out and talking to women was an intrusive act.  I believed that women don’t like guys who do that, and that there was a general stigma of “Lame-Jerk” that went along with approaching.  I was just there “for the music”.

EWWW

It was pretty standard AFC mentality mixed with a blend of pretentious snobbery.
Excuses, Excuses.

This is another way of staying LOCKED in your immediate little comfort zone and remaining a slave to the nonsensical constraints- the nonexistent norms of “society”.

The I-am-too-good-to-have-to-go-approach women syndrome is BULLSHIT.  It is an excuse to NOT go approach, and will get you NOWHERE.

Little Mr. Poet-boy looking all dapper and intriguing in the corner, scribbling in a Moleskine notebook almost never works when you don’t know anyone in the room.

I can really relate to what Tim from RSD says in his Flawless Natural DVD:

“James Bond in the club DOES NOT WORK…I’ve tried it too many times”

This snobbery and warped perception about cold approaching women, caused me to look for other ways to meet women without having to approach.

I was not content to simply not have beautiful women in my life, so I had to build a social circle, and for years I did all sorts of things that allowed me to NOT have to approach (open mic, karaoke, playing music, art shows, etc)

You can get by like this.  It is certainly not the easy way.

My game was very heavily reliant on social proof and social circles.  I could steer interactions any way I wanted them once I was in, but getting in was still a problem.

I was unable to get cold approaching down because of my limiting beliefs at the time about opening sets of girls.

That supremely limiting belief was this:

That being an overtly sexually aggressive man was inferior- that one must be hide this core intent…play around it.

Shrouding it with a veil of “No…I’m not like that…” I’m different.

At the center, was the belief that the two couldn’t coexist.  One could not be both a sensualist, a poet, an artist, AS WELL as a man who proudly wore his sexual intent on his sleeve.

Fuck that!  I don’t know where I got such a stupid idea, and can only celebrate the fact that it no longer exists anywhere in my brain.

To be ashamed of your intentions- to hide them- is creepy at best.

We need to completely ditch the idea that lust is a bad thing.  That passion should be contained.  That desire and instinct need to be mediated.

So I want to talk about how I was able to transform this belief so that now I project sexual energy and intention…and more importantly how i killed these feelings of guilt and insecurity that were holding me back.

And who would have imagined that it has anything to do with evolutionary biology?

You would be absolutely correct.  I got into reading ol’ Dicky D when he wrote the now infamous bestseller  “The God Delusion”.  I liked the guy so much that I started to another book you may have heard of called “The Selfish Gene” …

At this point, having the healthy emotional and instinctual side of my sex drive handled…

I now had all the intellectual reasons one would ever need in order to come to full terms with the fact that being constantly full of raging sexual fury was a GOOD thing.

I am a man, and have absolutely every right to completely adore beautiful women.
I need not bear any qualms about this.  When you ditch the “possessiveness” over your desire to come off as a nice guy- when you realize that you don’t need to hide your brazen sexual core, you are then allowed to stop being a pussy and kiss the girl.

You are set free to be yourself.  Indulge in your nature.  Proudly illuminate an aura of this masculine self-liberated energy and you will get her.  This is the attitude you NEED in order to escalate at the right pace.

Look her in the eyes.  Be in the moment with her, even in the split seconds before you say anything.  Be engaged.  Be fully there.  Enjoy her.  Listen to her.  Your presence needs to be a physical presence that is felt full on.  The more you completely engage her and let go of ALL the noise in your head, the more your natural charisma will be able to take over.

Don’t try and get everything over with quickly.  Be fucking present, not a wisp blowing through, tossing shots in the dark. I take BOTH hands right from the beginning if possible.

Projecting a strong sexual presence from your body language, to your physical escalation with her, to what you will let yourself say and the WAY you say it, is essential.  This presence is not cultivated.  You can only get to it by shedding layers of built up fantasies about identity and society.

I strive to be utterly shameless