So, here’s a funny little thing that happened earlier this afternoon. I’m walking into Whole Foods when out in the parking lot, this skinny blonde guy passes me coming out of the store. I see him coming at me and I’m thinking “where do I know this guy from?” He’s got this little smirk on his face. Wearing a yellow plaid shirt, and has this sort of aging hipster/ rock star fashion mullet thing going on with his hair. I’m wearing sunglasses so i get a nice long gander at him as he’s coming towards me. “I knowwww you” I says to myself. I still couldn’t quite pin it down.

I had also just made a comment to my buddy about one of those boxy brown cars…you know the one…not sure who makes them. They’re like the Honda element but smaller, boxier and goofier. I was reminiscing about a girl i used to date who drove one…I audibly called it a goofy car and remember thinking “I hope this hipster guy doesn’t get into that one” since he probably heard me just say it was goofy. And then I’d feel bad. And I just got a bitchin’ haircut and got a free badass robe with purchase of some goddamned tea tree pomade so I would hate to have something kill my mood like having to feel bad about making fun of this guys car.

Especially since he had this real cool swagger. I don’t remember him carrying any groceries.

Anyways. This all happened in like 4 seconds…so he gets closer and closer and now I’m just trying to get a good look and figure out how I know this guys face. I don’t live in LA or anything so it’s not expected to see a lot of celebrities. I’m thinking maybe he is in a band I know that is playing in town or something. He’ll he might just be a bartender i saw the other night. Or a year ago. Who knows. I’m perplexed.

And when I’m perplexed, I tend to bite my cheek a bit. And you know that face you make when you bite your cheek…

He finally walks right past me- and as he does- perplexed- I bite my cheek.

And he looks at me with this extremely familiar smile / smirk and gave me a very pleasant “Haha..yep.” as he struts past. Luckily he gets into the car next to the brown boxy goofcar.

And about two seconds after he said that, as im walking into the store, it hits me. Of course! That was motherfucking Dana Carvey. Only my very favorite SNL cast member for my entire goddamned childhood…

And he said “Haha…yep” because I was biting my cheek, and he must have thought I was flashing him the “Churchlady” face. So he chuckled to acknowledge my gesture of recognition and said “yep” like, “yeah It’s me…dana carvey…churchlady…and all your other favorite SNL skits from back in the day.”

But instead of recognizing who it was and saying something stupid like “Ohhh, It’s Dana Carvey!” or “Party on Wayne…” or bust out with singing “Choppin’ Broccoli” or any other silly catch phrase you might be tempted to blurt out when seeing an old school SNL cast member passing you in a parking lot….I ACCIDENTALLY flash him the most subtle one of all….the churchlady face.

“well, isn’t that special?”… golden.

When it came together and I realized what I had just happened it really made my day.

Then I see my sister and I’m all like “Dude, so check it out, I just accidentally flashed Dana Carvey the Churchlady face in a parking lot- I didn’t even know it was him- but i was biting my cheek like a neurotic idiot…”

And then she was all…”That’s HILARIOUS….Hey remember that guy Eric Longoria?”

“yeah, I actually just ran into him at Bronx the other night. We caught up a bit”

“I just got a text message saying he died in his sleep last night…”

Shit. That’s the second person I know now who has died in their fucking sleep. Sorry to switch gears on you here…but shit.

Now i’m laying here at almost 4am…writing because, well…I’m having a hard time sleeping now. I never have a hard time sleeping.

I know that’s everyone’s preferred way to go…but I’m pretty sure when people say they hope they die in their sleep, they aren’t talking about in their mid twenties. That’s pretty haunting.

So…another awesome day soured by the startling realization that you can always just die for no reason at all and not even know it.

Sleep tight